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| Sunday, February 25, 2007 |
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i'm still not happy.
i've broke the friendship from really very good till now...
drifting apart.
i've got nothing to say.
he had forgiven me. but still its my fault.
i'm the one who started it first.
haiz. i can't forgive myself.
it's really very wrong..
SORRY IS ALL I CAN SAY.
I CAN'T DO ANYTHING TO AMEND THE WRONG
THAT I'VE DONE.
talked to him in the afternoon.
i felt better after talking to him.
he let me know that he isn't angry with me.
i don't know why i'm always having mood swing.
i want the old me.
which i will not be angry and anyhow scold people.
the old me will tolerate people's scolding and will not get angry just because of one small little thing.
haiz. i've changed.
I DON'T WANT THE CHANGED ME!
I WANT THE OLD ME!!!
haiz.. if you are going to die, i will have one person less in my life.
one whose very important to me.
one who always give in to me when we are having an argument.
we've quarrelled twice already.
he forgive me over and over again.
yet, i quarrel with him over and over again.
haiz.
i think that it's not worth for him to get angry with me le.
actually i cried over him not because he bullied me.
is because i've done him wrong.
thats the reason why i cry.
i cried for four times because of him.
one time i cried is because of something and three times i've cried is because of the recent argument that we had.
haiz.
i don't want to update anymore.
it hurts. |
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| GRACE ♥ 7:23 PM |
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i cannot tarhan liao.
this is the second time because of this guy, i cried.
at 10 plus i cried and now,3.15, i cried again!
i cannot take it le.
i'm going crazy sooner or later.
can i cut myself?
its all my fault again!
sorry is all i can say.
i can't do anything to amend. |
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| GRACE ♥ 3:14 AM |
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| Saturday, February 17, 2007 |
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yesterday was pissed off by sihui..
talk to her as if i'm talking to the wall.
pauline, jinhui called me but i hanged off their calls.
there's once i picked up jinhui's call and i hanged it off.
i didn't know till today.
hais. wasn't in a good mood yesterday so i didn't talk to the others.
on full volume on jiaen's mp3.
didn't even know what they were talking about.
somemore i'm sick. hais.
don't wish to update anymore.
i don't wish to have an arguement with jinhui over this few days.
hope you will understand.
i try not to give you anymore troubles.
wo jing liang bu yao gei ni men tian ma fan. dui bu qi.
if this what's you've decide, then i've got nothing to say.
i can't stop you from doing things. i have no rights to stop you.
hope you can be happy from this days onwards.
trying to act happy in front of others.
sick sick sick~
dun blame him, it's all my fault.
he did nothing wrong.
so stop blaming him.
to him: sorry if i've offended you.
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| GRACE ♥ 2:09 PM |
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| Tuesday, February 13, 2007 |
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today, i'm not feeling well and i still make cassandra jiejie angry.
haiz. i don't mean to. what to do? i had already say the things out and i can't take back my words.
in jiejie's blog, she said that i say how many times de sorry also no use.
because she hate liars.
i can't do anything in order for her to forgive me.
it's all my fault. i'm the one who is responsible for making her so angry.
but what is done cannot be undone.
i felt very guilty.
for treating her like this.
just to go out with friends to bugis.
buddy kept helping me apologising to her.
i really don't know why i have to pull buddy down the water.
he has nothing to do with this. and i do is to cause him troubles.
and he got to help me.
what am i this buddy for?
creating troubles for him for all i know.
i'm a hopeless buddy.
might as well say that he don't have this buddy better.
free him from troubles that i've created for him.
better off for him.
i'm such a bad friend for all i know.
i kept creating troubles and problems for them and thought that they would help me solve it.
aiya. whatever!
i've got no mood to continue blogging. |
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| GRACE ♥ 8:31 PM |
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| Monday, February 12, 2007 |
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why am i always encountering all these bull shits??
am i an invisible??
or am i a bloody ass human who knows nothing about feelings?
fucking asshole. i'm pissed off.
nabei cheebye. ARGH!!
really wondering why the hell am i here in this bloody ass world?
everybody treats me as shit.
that's all i can say.
ming zhi dao ren jia bu xi huan wo, wo hai qu tao ta men de huan xin.
why am i always wearing a mask facing people?
can i just take off this 'beautiful' mask and face people as my normal self?
i want to be back my old self as i do not have to face this shit and live a normal life.
i can't take it anymore.
can i live my peaceful with friends or should i be alone?
i'm so stress.
i need zhenhao to help me.
but whenever i call him, either he's outside or he's doing something.
i can't complain to my buddy.
i don't know how to express all the things which were kept inside.
ARGH!!!
sorry jinhui buddy.
i don't mean to be rude and attitude to you.
i'm just really pissed off and stress.
i'm going crazy sooner or later.
hope that you won't take it to heart.
i don't mean to hurt you by saying all that things to you.
I'M SORRY!!! TO JINHUI BUDDY. |
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| GRACE ♥ 8:54 PM |
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| Sunday, February 11, 2007 |
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yesterday didn't have the chance to blog as my brother is using the computer and he's playing war of warcraft.
he was angry yesterday because of the game. stupid him! haha!
yesterday had an exchange in st. margets. oops! i don't know how to spell the school's name.
hmmm.. had quite a bit of fun throughout the exchange there.
at 1++, meet cassandra jiejie at 121 to eat as we were hungry.
went to paya lebar for jiejie's hair extension. so long can.
took mrt to jinhui buddy's house there.
went to block 533 and play.
after a while, went back to buddy's block downstairs and slack. haha!
had alot of fun at that time. hehe!
at around 5.30, jiejie wanted to go home so i accompany her as i think it's too early for me to go home.
told jiejie about the fat girl as she's buddy's neighbour.
i think that the fat girl is really too much.
ask her grandfather to get out of the house until evening or night then he can go home.
fucker right.
jiejie said that maybe she want tio her.
find lame excuse to tio her.
really very lame. haha!
i reached home and it's already 6.05.
went for a bath that takes 35 minutes.
and i watched television.
messaged buddy also.
i also called buddy when i'm watching my show and he's in the train.
called jiejie at around 9++.
chatted for don't know how long and i'm tired.
hang off the phone and i went to sleep. haha!
buddy message me at 2++ which is morning.
OH MY TIANS!
buddy, u don't need to sleep de mehs?
read the message this morning and i replied him.
haha! i bet that he's still sleeping now.
he's a pig! haha! he's my buddy. so i can't talk bad about him. haha!
no offence ar. buddy!
here i am to blog as later i got to go to mac together with my sister.
she wanted to eat there so got to accompany her.
haiz. got to end the post already.
BUDDY!! jiejie, you and me will never be broken de. unless somebody trys to.
which i guess it's impossible.
I MISS MY JINHUI BUDDY AND CASSANDRA JIEJIE!! HAHA! |
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| GRACE ♥ 11:52 AM |
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| Friday, February 09, 2007 |
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today is the another day of boredom!
boring!~
nothing special happen again.
after school, still got question marks on whether i should go bugis or go band.
keep thinking till around 1pm then decide together with xiamg xiang.
reached home, bathe, change and do everything i need to do.
at 1++ went to xiang xiang's house and walk to the bus-stop, take 60 and saw senghuat.
went to eunos mrt together to meet buddy and guanshen.
proceed to bugis. reached there, walk here and there to decide whether to eat or not and so on..
lazy to type whatever happen in between.
i went quiet after that..
don't wish to say.
something that has sadden me alot.
at that point of time, sad and wanted to cry but i didn't.
only small kids then will cry in front of so many people.
I NEED ZHENHAO!!
aiya! whatever!!! don't wish to say everything out only those friends who are really very close to me. then they will know what happen to me.
don't wish to blog. no mood to continue everything. |
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| GRACE ♥ 8:34 PM |
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| Thursday, February 08, 2007 |
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didn't really talk to buddy.
talk a bit only.
at 3++ i went to mac.
as jiejie, buddy, jiemei and guanshen were there.
went there to find them.
when i reach there, i immediately went to the toilet and get change as i was wearing p.e shirt.
after a while, jiejie and jiemei went to smoke.
jiejie pulled me along. so i just tag along together with them.
in the end is only jiemei smoke but jiejie didn't.
jiejie quit smoking le. (:
three of us stand there and talk.
talk till jiemei smoke finish. and we went back to mac.
i was wondering at that at point of time when we enter the mac and talk, are we talking loudly??
hahas! i guess so.
at around 4.15, wen leave the mac.
we all are heading home. hahas!
went back home, bathe and think about the things which are unsolvable.
troubled! haiz.
i'm wondering what i am this friend for?
kept alot of secrets from me again.
friends are always like this.
why do i have this type of friends which are keeping things from me?
am i that bad? am i that big-mouth?
big-mouth till people keep things from me.
argh!! i give up.
i want to care about others but this is what they give me in return.
whatever! i wash my hands off friends' affairs.
jiemei's problems and all those who are willing to tell me then i listen.
if not, i'm not going to ask any further.
pissed off with this bloody ass thing! |
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| GRACE ♥ 6:07 PM |
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| Tuesday, February 06, 2007 |
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hmm.. i had alot of fun today.
all thanks to CASSANDRA jiejie, WEIXIONG bear bear and JINHUI buddy!
love them lots. hehes!
they make all these best memories for me. hehes!
had sectionals today and we ran through funiculi-funicula.
at 3.30, i go off to mac. went to meet jiejie and buddy.
saw rachel then jiejie purposely talk loudly. hahas!
bear bear came along together with his friend.
i think his friend's name is pei shan.
not very sure about her name and i'm not interested. wahahaha
bear bear went to play basketball and we chit chatted.
talk about somebody's bad things. hahas!
we had quite alot of fun because we run here and there, bullying each other.
because bear bear start it first. hehes!
jiejie chased bus 21 and we walked slowly.
reached the bus-stop, only left with buddy.
he's alone. SORRY BUDDY!! NEVER ACCOMPANY YOU.
walked home together with bear bear.
my friends saw us walking together.
we were walking quite close. i scared that they will be suspicious of me and bear bear.
how? they will surely anyhow think about me and bear bear.
walked home alone as bear bear has reached his block and he went home.
reached home, bathe and here i am. blogging.
so boring. later got to ask bear bear something and talk on the phone. (:
end here. blog again next time. (: |
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| GRACE ♥ 7:45 PM |
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| Monday, February 05, 2007 |
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today got nothing special going on again..
boring~ haas!
mother tongue lesson also very boring because buddy is not there. he went to the ITE for an excursion.
tomorrow he is going again. and he don't need to go to school. sobx!!
i'm going to miss my buddy!!
had sectionals in the afternoon and we run through funiculi-funicula and night safari.
when we are going to pack up, somebody came in and she complain about her things..
complain complain complain..
complain finish, ask the players in first for funiculi-funicula to stay back.
play already she say me and edwin this and that.
say that when we practice already then find her.
we ran through already is that our intonation cannot make it then she say we didn't practice.
she ask us to pack up, so we did.
FUCK sia.
edwin and i was pissed off by her.
we talked about her when we are walking.
and we scolded a lot of vulgarities.
when we get into the band room, we are still cursing her and all those bad stuffs.
i was totally pissed off by her.
tomorrow still got sectionals.
1 hour, can die sia. seeing her face only.
i rather skip school seh.
aiya! i don't know lahs.
see how first. see my mood.
BUDDY!!!! don't like that lehs. i don't care ar. you fu tong xiang, you nan tong dang!
oh ya. you still haven't reply my question.
that is what you use? CHOPPER!?!?!
reply me by today? if you can.
I WILL MISS MY BUDDY FOR TOMORROW!! hehes! |
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| GRACE ♥ 7:25 PM |
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| Sunday, February 04, 2007 |
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today stayed at home.
got nothing to do at home.
so sihui and pauline came to my house.
want to teach them P.O.A but end up we watch television and using the computer.
hahas.
pauline went home first as it's her brother's birthday today.
sihui continue to stay here till 6++. hehes.
we chatted and she helped me find new blogskins.
and she also taught me new things eh.
hahas.
6++ already and she went home. (:
JINHUI BUDDY!!! why got? i didn't say i hate him. why did you say that?? do i look like or i sound like i hate him?? hmmm.. maybe eh.. i'm also not that sure. hahas!
maybe need to see his future actions , see whether he got do something that's bad. then i'll hate him bax. hahas!
pro bax. hehes!
i'm a loner, nobody cares about me. sobx! [in class not outside. because outside, i've got friends to keep me company.] rights buddy? |
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| GRACE ♥ 7:02 PM |
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| Saturday, February 03, 2007 |
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today went for band practice.
practice this and that.. quite fun..
victor came today and teach us.
so fun. sometimes don't know what he talking. =x hahas.
after practice went to the don't know where to search for the place where can repair instruments.
and slack there.
when slacking, cassandra jiejie kept calling me asking me when am i going to jurong and some other questions.
and i take bus back to my house that bus-stop and wait for bus, saw cheston.
he went to buy comic book. so i saw him there.
bus came and took the bus, reached mrt station.
took train to boon lay from eunos.
saw munir and his friends.
chatted with him till he reached city hall and off he go.
and i'm alone again.
stand in the train like a wooden block.. hahas.
and finally, reached boon lay.
went to meet cassandra jiejie, bear bear and bear bear's friend whom i don't know..
walk here and there.
then jiejie says that she's hungry and we went to mac..
she treat me drinks again. this time round is jasmine green tea. (:
after eating, went to the mrt station and go home.
on the way home, we chit chatted, took pictures and bullying each other..
that bear bear kept bullying me. sobx.
reached bedok station, alighted from the train and the train was left with jiejie and bear bear's friend.
bear bear walk so fast can. and he also bully me..
waiting for bus and in the bus also like that.
bully me only.. hahas.
bear bear sleep in the bus. hahas.
his sleeping face is so cute.
blur blur de face.. gong gong also. =x
alighted from the bus together with bear bear.
and we go home.
reached home and i got scolding from mummy. sobx.
after that scolding, i go and have a bath and now, here i am to blog. hahas.
today had a tired but fun day. (:
end blogging here. (: tomorrow sihui they all coming to my house for P.O.A tution. |
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| GRACE ♥ 9:56 PM |
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| Thursday, February 01, 2007 |
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today was alright.
nothing interesting happen today, that makes the day more boring.
after school went to mac.
meet jiejie. then did some homework there too.
guai rights.. hahahas.
after that, jiejie want to fetch weixiongLAOPA
and i ran home and brought something out for jiejie.
and she was shocked that i gave her one packet.
she thought that i give her only one stick. hahas.
fetch weixiongLAOPA le then walk back to mac.
sit in mac and chit chatted.
chat le then run here and there.
in and out of the mac also have.
after that, chatted with my twin, fasihah.
i treat her drinks. hahas.
and chatted with aslam and twin. (:
that stupid aslam kept complaining about this and that about me..
he's very irritating! hahas.
eddy is also the another action guy.
talk to him, say hi to him also don't want to reply.
not don't want to reply, is that he act that he don't know me. sobx!
when we are going to go to the 606 basketball court, we bid farewell to them.
reached 606 basketball court, jiaen, jiejie, agnes, sihui and pualine went to play basketball.
they played for quite time.
wah! weixiongLAOPA de basketball skills is so good seh..
pro! *claps to him!* hahas.
after playing, went home.
eat, play computer till now. updating my blog. (:
hmmm. got nothing more to update.
some other time then update this blog. (:
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| GRACE ♥ 10:23 PM |
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