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haiz..
sunday... only can watch television, talking on the phone.
haiz.
should i study?
i think i cannot make it.
the more i study, the more i sleep.
hmmm.. how??
somebody save me.
thursday is the day when mid-year starts.
and.. i haven't start studying yet..
oh my!
i shall start studying tomorrow onwards.
can i make it?
hope that i will. (: |
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| GRACE ♥ 4:04 PM |
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i have this thought again.
i really don't know why am i here in this world.
why am i born and stuffs like that.
hais..
maybe it's because of something.
that's why i have the thought of it again.
i'm really a useless friend.
friends got problem, i couldn't help at all.
when i have any problems, my friends would always be there for me.
but me??
when friends need me, where am i? what am i doing?
do i really lend one my shoulder when one is crying?
i really hate myself.
life sucks.
end the post here.
no longer got the mood to update.
would i feel better when it comes to cutting??
to somebody:
y do u always like to lock yourself in your own world?
do u think it's a good way by numbing yourself?
or worse don't face the problems that has occurs.
don't face it but you can share it with me or others.
the unhappiness won't pass unless you face it.
if you think that you are doing fine in life and faking a smile on your face means that you are alright.
then you are WRONG!
stop lying to yourself. is it that difficult to face a problem?
even if it is, what are friends for?
are they for show? NO! they are called friends is because that they will face whatever problem that you're going through.
they will always stand by your side no matter what happens.
and is this how you are going to treat them?
you said that whenever you are with your friends, you are happy.
that means that if you are not together with them, you are not happy.
you said that i'll have the feeling which is not good.
i tell you now!
I WON'T HAVE THIS FEELINGS BECAUSE I KNEW THAT FRIENDS WOULD LEND ME THEIR EARS AND THEY WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR ME.
I WOULDN'T HIDE ANYTHING FROM THEM.
i'm not happy because you tend to hide it from me.
i just don't like the way you treat life now.
i don't like the new you.
i want the old you because you were a straight-forward person.
you may think that i'm a busybody.
but that's out of care and concern.
i really really don't dare to cry out.
all i did was to cry silently.
i don't want this. as what i've said, i don't want to see you like this. it hurts me.
i'm also a human, a person with feelings.
i got nothing to hide because i knew that you'll always be there for me.
why can't you have the thinking that i will always be there for you? and your friends too.
even if you don't want to share with me,you still have your friends to share with.
share it with others are always better than keeping it to yourself.
i'm a useless friend/buddy who i couldn't help at all.
all i have to do is to cry?? is this worth it??
i really don't want you to do it to yourself.
stop it, can?
if you don't stop it, you shall see what will happen to me.
remember that i will always miss you lots lots. (:
and love you many many. (:
hope that you're reading.
heed my advice.
i don't want anything to happen to you.
miss my gans lots lots. (:
love them many many. (:
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| GRACE ♥ 6:08 PM |
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so long never update my blog already.
updating from last week, thursday onwards.
thursday,190407
meet chinghuat korkor at mac together with sharon.
so long never meet him liao. miss him so much.
we slack in mac. crapping together.
and played with his name. hahas!
so long don't have so much fun together.
talk under the block till 6.00 and sharon went home.
korkor and me stayed under the block, talking again.
when he's on the phone, i would do my things.
won't disturb him talking on the phone with andrea, his stead.
after he hang off, he lied down on the table and tears dropped.
i was shocked. i didn't know that he would cry.
andrea messaged him and he cried even worse.
he asked me to reply her that he want to end the relationship.
and that idoit went on crying.
cry till he got no more tears to continue crying.
sharon also cried when she's talking to korkor.
she came down and told us about things.
she went home at around 9++
by the time, korkor also calm down.
he sent me home. and he was having a slight fever.
when he reached home, rest. and we talked on the phone again.
until both are tired, we went to bed.
friday,200407
meet chinghuat korkor again.
chatted at the mac, eat at the market, slack at the playground.
i asked cassandra jiejie to help me do something. (:
talked to jinhui buddy too.
i was angry. talk so loudly. i didn't know it. :x
chatted with wuang hui and both of them having their conversation.
i don't care anyway. they don't want to tell me, i also got a way to find out.
korkor told me that they've patch.
it's up to him whether he want to be hurt by her again.
it's just his choice. and i just don't like his stead, andrea.
i told him, she make you cry again, ask her to be careful.
they won't know what's its going to happen.
korkor sent me home again at 7++
saturday,210407
sleep until 3.30 and wash up and go for eye checkup at bedok inter.
meet korkor again and his outfit is handsome and it fits him.
but that's the first time he wore it. hahas! handsome handsome.
went home at 5++.
sunday,220407
do my social studies homework and chatted on the phone with jinhui buddy they all.
monday,230407
i'm sick!
had slight fever in the morning.
didn't got the feeling to do my english papaer1.
i think i'm going to fail that paper.
my voice also went deep.
got blocked nose. that's even worse.
didn't get enough rest. and time's up.
got to help mrs tay collect the question paper.
after recess, it's chinese paper 1.
ran here and there in order to find chinese dictionary for myself and jinhui buddy.
the paper is difficult. and i wrote craps.
i don't even know what i'm writing. :x
after exam, slack in canteen, class and mac.
and went home at 3++.
i was totally drench.
reached home, bathe and then talked on the phone.
went to sleep and i didn't notice that chinghuat korkor messaged me.
woke up at 6 and replied him. he was confused of where he is.
hahas! poor korkor.
chatted on the phone in the night with jinhui buddy again. (:
i love him lots. (x
tuesday,240407
i'm sick again! haiz.. poor me.
took the social studies exam and when i turn to the structured-essay question
and i was stunned! didn't know how to do the first question and i just wrote craps there.
after the exam, lessons resume as per normal.
draw something for jinhui buddy instead of listening to miss tan. :x
she gave us early recess. hahas! so good of her.
after recess was cme. mr jhee couldn't control the noise level of the boys when we're playing game. mr jhee asked them to sit down.
i didn't play because i was unwell.
watched a short clip about going steady.
it's a black and white clip. and i don't understand what's are they talking. :x
mr jhee teach physics at the last 2 periods.
and i was not listening. i was sleeping. hahas!
i followed jinhui buddy and chanhuei baobei to canteen
and we stand in the middle and we talked.
and playing away. hahas!
we then went back to class and went back to canteen.
slack there and i drew something for jingsheng.
and wanted to pass to him but he's having english remedial.
so can't pass it to him. nevermind.
went back home and sleep.
until 6, mother wake me up and asked me to drink something.
drank it and then i was awake till now.
chatting on the phone now.
going to take a rest later..
end the post here.
i miss all my gans lots lots. (:
i love them many many. (:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY MEIMEI, JOYCE CHEW! (: |
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| GRACE ♥ 6:31 PM |
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FINALLY!!!
all the efforts that everybody put in have been paid off.
thanks to the clarinetists for putting in the efforts after all the ups and downs.
we went there into the hall, stared at mr lim.
haas. the alumni said that we played well for safari.
it was impressive. haas.
khairul said that there's some mistakes in funculi-funicula.
when the results were going to release, we were very nervous.
the release of results.
hmmm... quite a number of bands which had performed, got sliver or bronze.
until band number 98:maris stella,GOLD!
hahas.. and we were like all nervous because of the result. because maris stella is a very good band. they got gold because they deserved it.
then, it's our turn.
band number 99: BEDOK NORTH, GOLD!!!!
we were all happy and cheering.
after we've heard all the results, we ran forward to the seniors.
hahas. i hugged majority of the seniors.
who were in tears.
took section pictures. cheering away.
hahas. had alot of fun there.
in the bus, sing, cheer, make noise.
it's so noisy till the bus uncle ask us to shut up =x
hahas..
before reaching school, we sang the school song.
hahas.
mr lea and miss ho were walking out of the office, happily.
took band photos. and section photos again.
went up to the band room, pack and then can go home.
i'm happy and at the same time, i'm sad.
because tomorrow is the last practice together with the sec 4 seniors.
haiz... sad. but don't know why i can't cry out.
i'm werid.. haas..
really hope that the standard of the band won't drop too much after the seniors leave for study.
end the post here but there's photos from joey's camera. (:
 joey and me plus yonglin's sudden pop out. (:
  
to jinhui buddy: thanks for the encouragement that you've given. (:
playing of music doesn't mean you have to go for medals but it is for us to enjoy and keep it moving. (: |
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| GRACE ♥ 8:21 PM |
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YESTERDAY
everything was fine in school.
slack in class.
got no homework given by teachers.
after school, send sihui home.
slack with jinhui buddy and guanshen under blk 108.
chatted for 45 mins and i got to go home due to the parents' night in the evening.
meet up with sihui at 3.30++.
and we went to school.
had combine for awhile, went through somewhere over the rainbow.
and at 5, went for a short dinner which is only 25 mins.
i called jinhui buddy, chatted for around half an hour.
i called him lehs.
confirm this month's bill going to be quite high.
i screwed up funculi-funlicula.
haiz. i've forgotten some of the parts and played wrong notes.
but too bad, it's over.
pack things and all that, going home with xiangxiang, jiaen, pauline and hazel.
saw sihui's parents and i don't dare to go out of the school gates.
is like i'm guilty. because of me, their daughter became like this.
but it's not totally my fault.
i don't wish this to happen too.
nobody wish this to happen.
but it happened.
what can i do??
what has happened has already happened.
i'm going to be guilty for life this time round.
sihui messaged saying that we should be prepared that she may not be playing for SYF.
how!? i'm the cause of it.
haiz...
TODAY
sleep till 11++ then wake up.
slack in bed and found out that it's going to be 12.
quickly get out of the bed and bathe
then cooked for the others.
chatted on the phone at around 12.30 with jinhui buddy.
at 1++, called cassandra jiejie.
she's waiting for her gan meimei.
so, she's bored so she ask me to call her.
chatted with her then jinhui called in.
cassandra jiejie de gan mei reach liao then buddy got to call me.
chatted for awhile,he got to hang off and i called him.
quite fun lahs. then he say he want to accompany his jiejie and friends watch helen the baby fox.
i let him watch lor. later then call him.
buddy messaged me saying that jingsheng don't want us this friends le.
so i message jingsheng and his reply is really very cute..
i buay tarhan. kept laughing to myself.
replied him back and he never reply me.
i'm waiting~ hahas!
as if i'm going to wait for his reply.
i'm still wondering.
buddy says that i message jingsheng, he'll reply my message.
cannot be mahs. then from now, buddy is going to use my phone to message jingsheng.
maybe he is going to message other people using my phone too.
OH MY TIANS!
like that confirm my message is going to exceed anytime. hahas!
nevermind de.
he's my buddy afterall.
i'll lend him my phone. (:
buddy! you see, this buddy of yours good right. hahas!
got nothing to do today.
got to help mummy to wash clothes later.
haiz. boring~
end the post here. got nothing to continue anymore.
COUNTING DOWN! 6 MORE DAYS TO SYF!!!!
wo de xin de zhong. jiu xiang jinhui yi yang.
wo ye hen xiang ku. ke shi wo jiu shi ku bu chu.
yin wei wo, ta cai bian cheng zhe yang.
dou shi wo de cuo.
quan bu dou yi jing fa sheng le.
WO DE CUO! |
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| GRACE ♥ 4:46 PM |
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